Today Lillian is two weeks old! She is still (and will probably always be) a total mystery, but she has captured all of our hearts and we just love her to pieces! Even her big brother, when he can’t see her, likes to ask, “Baby go?”
It’s difficult to sum up our experience so far, or to describe what Lillian is like. So much of parenting a newborn is just about surviving from minute to minute. And here I am, alive after two weeks, so I suppose it’s been a success thus far!
My parenting ideals are found in the Baby Whisperer books. I don’t agree with every last word, but so much of Tracy Hogg’s philosophy and approach to parenting makes sense to me. I long for routine, for even a hint of predictability, for a baby who can fall asleep on her own in her own bed, and I like the Baby Whisperer’s family-centered, non-extremist methods for reaching those goals. But I’ve had to give up those pesky fantasies of having the perfect baby and establishing the perfect routine right now. Lillian needs time to adjust to life, and Jeff and I need time to adjust to her. And more than anything, Jeff and I need sleep so that we have the energy to adjust to her. And while I’m not at ALL a fan of co-sleeping, Lillian is a body-heat junkie and is sleeping in our bed for now — and (shocking!) it’s not the end of the world. We’re all sleeping well. Once we’ve allowed ourselves this time of transition, and once my big journey to Minneapolis (for a wedding this weekend) is behind us, THEN there will be time for working toward those goals.
But for now, I’m working on not over-analyzing, over-questioning, or over-planning. I’m just savoring these cuddly first weeks with my lovely daughter, staring at her tiny hands and toes until my eyes well up and my heart might burst, and I’m holding her in my arms in her state of milk-drunkenness and laughing out loud at her hilarious expressions. Because what they say is true: “This too shall pass.” And when it does, I hope I remember not the stress, but the joy.